Have u ever felt that there is so many things dancing in that little mind of urs that u just want to spill it out...that is what i am feeling right now......my mind is so crowded that i am so clowded....i am not making sense am i?my brain is working overtime and it is so tiring.......
Bear - we met last weekend and talked about things. How i miss my bear..we decided that we would go through the changes together i.e not just cut ties but remain together as close friends...my prayers have been answered...really am very happy...we have to adapt with the changes and the most important of all is about the new circles of friends that we both have made these past few weeks...whatever and whoever makes bear smile would make me happy as well...with Allah's blessings and guidance everything would be ok...janagn marah marah bear....sabar lah....
Pumpkin - I miss her...i know that she misses us as well......hari tu dia demam and that worries me so so much.....take care little one..
Board-finished all 10 papers for Board finally tapi am getting so so lazy...abossa pun perasan..esok harinya for Board...all together ada 50 papers to be tabled....berasaplah otak directors....i doakan agar abossa tak kena "tembak"....
Nana -SPM is esok and i am worried about her...dia panicking seperti biasa tapi i know that she would do just fine....tak lulus kita kahwin kan je ..he he he....Mok ada sedia menanti.......i know Nana's reply..."akak tunggu anti".....my advice to her is "if sayang tunggu anti alamat berjanggutlah jadinye"....a long wait darling......try your best k Nana...anti doakan all the best....
Ayin - pun ambil exam macam nana...tapi have been a bad anti for her...i have lost touch...would try to be a better anti......pumpkin...please sms her number...anti takdelah....
Sis- worried bout her transitional period....taknak orang buli dia...benci org buli my sister....her patience would pull he through...
Afrina-kenapa lah minah sorang ni taknak pergi sekolah...would pay a visit to the school and do a spot check....apa masalahnye...she is so smart and it kills me when she refuse to go to school........like she is afraid of it.......ntahlah....
Abg Is- my second brother....i am so angry with how he is dealing with his life...he is my brother and i luv him but he has to be more in control of his life....let go of the ego and admit that u need help....how to tell him that...i am not avoiding him because i hate him...how could one hate their own flesh and blood? i am avoiding him because i am angry and sad...sad at how things turn out for him...and how he refuse to move on.....
abossa-he has been a blessing to me...i must have done something good in my life...my guardian angel...alwiz have my best interest at heart...bila marah tu lain ceritalah...nangis air mata darah pun dia tak kan peduli...pasal kerje lah...tapi as a friend he is one in a million....worried about the effect of the changes to him .......pary that all will be ok.......
Me-sometimes the loneliness kills...i know that ALLAH sentiasa ada and that i should find my way back to him...tapi the loneliness sometimes buat i takut.....takut yang teramat sangat..ramai oarang tapi masih rasa lonely...would i be like this for the rest of my life.....if i die now ada tak orang yang akan mendoakan kesejahteraan i di sana...adakah ALLAH akan mengampuni dosa dosa i yang sebanyak butiran pasir di pantai?
Tapi i know that i patut rasa bersyukur....masih sihat, ada ramai friends that cares...macam Dilla...found new friens yang selalu buat i ketawa and happi...Linda and Nana...ada family yang sayang i....ada nieces and nephews..boss yang amat mengambil berat.Bear yang selalu menyayangi i.....Alhamdulillah
2 comments:
Dear Raha,
I've been to the place that you are at now. Feeling alone even when you are in a crowd. Allah places us there for a reason. To learn something about us, to learn something about the people around us that we care about. This is a good time for self-reflection, a time to make some decisions and commitments that we pray to God we will keep.
Only when you are at peace with yourself that the clouds will start to lift & the rainbow will appear to brighten your day.
Keep well, my friend.
Praying that your rainbow will appear soon.
<3
My Dear Kak Raha,
Apabila hati kita disentuh kesunyian yang teramat ubatnya adalah pertemuan kita & Allah. Allah itu Maha Mendengar, Maha Pengasih, walaupun apapun keadaan yang kita lalui hanya Allah sahaja yg menjawab segala bicara di hati kita. Menghadapkan wajah kita ke kiblat Allah adalah penawar bagi segalanya...Me...today 15 Nov, is my arawah Umairah 3 months old if she is here with me. I rasa sedih, sunyi, rindu & bermacam2 perasan yg bergolak di jiwa. But linda tahu Allah melihat segalanya..malahan perasaan yg kita lalui juga diberikan Allah.
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