Tired

I am very de-motivated with everything that has been going on in the office. I am frustrated because i feel as though I am in a ship with no captain..We are all sailing aimlessly and many are fighting for the captain's position. The apple polishing that's been going on made me feel so sick that i feel like vomitting..I am lost for words and all I can say is may ALLAH bless all of us..

I now know how bad office politics are and how demented all this people could be. All the back stabbing and scheming against everyone that they use to call friend...Its unbelievable and scary at the same time as I could not imagine how evil a person could be..when I say evil I really mean it.....like devil reincarnate..

I am lost for words with whats happening that I m more inclined to just keep quiet and talked to only those closest to me in the office and just work...work n work...At times I just can't do it...no mood to work and all I can do is stare at a blank computer or surf the net....when that happens I will most of the time call Abossa and whine....as usual....he alwiz know what to say to make me move my butt and bz my draggy day with work...there are actually tonnes to do......if that does not work he would allow me time off to just have my little walk to clear my mind......

My little walk would usually be to the building accross to see magazines or to my car to hear the loudest music ever or to the 8th floor to see Tina.....talking to Tina alwiz make me happi...we laugh a lot......loads and loads....we gossip about the "not so bright fellow"....it is in in red because this dispecable person is driving everyone off the cliff poor old me especially.....he is a wolf in a sheep's skin......i know that it is sinfull to talk bad about anyone but.........i can't help it...if i keep this inside I'd probably die......everythime he passes by...[thats like selalu because he has to pass my table if he wants to go out] I feel the urge to throw up ....[its better than what i felt about him weeks ago-canibal like feeling of throwing anything i have in front of me at him.....Tina has advised me to keep all sharp objects in a safe place...]..

This creature has caused a lot of people unhapiness and distress with his conduct...very vindictive person....he is unleashing his frustration on the "so called imaginary injustice" that he felt was done to him and going after those he thinks are the cause of it or related to the cause......he has forgotten that in his quest for revenge a lot of people are also effected....innocent people......I know that this is a bitter entry but to keep it inside me is causing me ulcer....I just hope n pray that the long awaited new person would come as soon as possible before what was achieved in 5 years would just be gone in a matter of days.......

But despite the gloomy office situation...somethings are changing for the better....alhamdulillah....

Do my socks comes in pair?

I am currently reading this book by Cecelia Ahern entitled A Place called Here...its a sweet book....about a women's search for that missing piece in her life........

Quotes from the book that is really meaningfull to me....i read them n it made me feel that someone out there understands and that made me feel contented and not alone....

"How do u feel when u r searching n searching but u still can't find whatever u r looking for?"

"The feeling of searching is like a feeling of knowing something is missing in your life but not being able to find it no matter how hard u look"

"Perhaps it would be easier if i said that not being able to find something is like suddenly not remembering the words to ur favourite song that u knew by heart. Its like suddenly forgetting the name of someone u know really well and see everyday, or the name of a group who sang a famous song. Its frustrating that it plays on ur mind over and over agin because u know theres an answer but no one can tell u it. It niggles n niggles at me n i can't rest until i know the answers"

"sometimes people can go missing right before our very eyes, sometimes people discover u. eventhough they've been looking at u the entire time. Sometimes we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying attention. We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us from returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes its easier. Sometimes we find our way out. But regardless, alwiz we r found"

Bye

Jemputan Dari Kak Tati

Last Saturday, Nana & Me dijemput oleh Kak Tati for makan makan ...but before that i had to selesaikan tanggungjawab i to my parents....bawa them jalan jalan...kesian juga the whole week they duduk rumah je so kena lah jalan jalan ambil angin...........i really am so happi that they are happi........janji dengan Linda kul 6 tapi terlambat jadi Nana & Me kena lah gi sendiri.....nasib baiklah senang nak cari rumah.....bila dah sampai kami berdua ni jadi malu malu lah pula......Kak Tati buat both of us rasa so welcomed....thanks Kak.....

Her house is so English and so cantik......

Tuan Rumah & Tuan Punya Butik.......

Kuih muih hidangan Kak Tati......nicely arranged.....sedap sangat....Dilla next time kita datang sesama k.....ada kuih bakar berlauk...popia......kuih lapis

Kak Tati and Abg Zul.....Nana & Me intend to send our future better half (yang sekarang ini sedang dalam pencarian) to him for training.......boleh kan Kak Tati?

Nana sedang menikmati kuay teow Kak Tati yang sememangnye sedap and lazat...me and her berlumba lumba menambah..rasa malu sewaktu memula sampai terus hilang........

Segregasi kaum........

I had a good time at Kak Tati's and looking forward to more visits....if Kak Tati sanggup lah terima kedatangan ku.....boleh?

Saturday in Melaka

View of Melaka Town from up up and above....gayatnye i..

This is Muya......my cousin...sebaya dengan Nana (my niece a.k.a si bunga tanjung) and Ayin ( Pumpkin's Sister also my niece)

Gambar ni tersesat lah pulak kat sini...this is Daya...assistant Linda....dia terpegun dengan kelakuan kami kami ini di butik Kaseh

Mak and Abah masa dalam Eye of Malaysia......lepas ni dah takde lagi nak ku naik benda ni......taubat......

This is a beautiful piece....the colur is vibrant and eye cathing....Maaf ye kain ini telah dimiliki oleh tak lain dan tak bukan Puan Adillah kita....bila dah jadi baju nanti please post the picture k Dilla...

Kain kain yang kubeli.....amat cantik kain kain cotton ini...lembut and i bet bila dah jadi baju kurung pahang akan memukau setiap mata yang memandang......

Tuan punya Butik Kaseh...Linda......all smiles walau pun terpaksa buka butik pada hari Sabtu for Me...thanks again...

Batik bermotif bunga berwarna pink and purple.......would be so cantik if buat baju kurung moden atau maxi macam yang dalam blog Rizalman Ibrahim tu........

Puan Adilla kita berposing dengan batik lukisan abstrak berwarna pastel pink and hijau muda......belum ada tuan punyanye...Haniza...this is so cantik....

Setiap hari Sabtu sudah menjadi kemestian untuk me singgah ke Butik Kaseh...untuk melihat hasil kreativiti terbaru Linda and also as a meeting point for me and Dilla to catch up on things..alwiz look forward to the meeting and sudah semestinya dipenuhi dengan gelak ketawa serta usik mengusik....hari ini jugalah model model amatur ini semuanya akan menunjukkan bakat terpendam masing masing.......last Saturday was no exception....Linda, Dilla nad me had such a good time....Nana could not make it as she was not feeling too well.....met Queen for the first time too......such a sweet lady....

Me tried on a few tudung untuk dipakai pada minggu ini...i am going to start my kelas agama di Masjid Negara Jumaat ini....this would definitely help me with the changes in intend to implement...to be a better muslimah.

Banyak kain baru yang ada di Kaseh yang seakan melambai lambai minta dibeli...i terus beli 2 pieces sebelum Haniza beli kesemuanya.....dearest Haniza silalah lihat kain kain ku...sungguhlah cantik.....terompah kita dalam proses k.....harap bersabar....

Lepas ke Kaseh, me balik ke rumah...masak lunch and then off for my normal excursion with mak, abah and Muya......we went to the Eye of Malaysia...surprised? i surprised even myself....seseorang yang begitu takutkan heights menaiki that "thing".....lama pulak tu...they did 5 rounds...perlukah? satu je lah.....i was so takut that my knees was shaking profusely......menyosal den....sumpah den tak buek lagi...what an experience.....at least bila orang tanya i boleh lah say that i have been on it.....

7-1-2009

Sebenar benar nye walau bunga yang dipetik dari tepi jalan akan membuat seorang wanita itu tersenyum gembira...lebih lebih lagi sekiranya dari orang yang mereka sayangi......

P/S: Ijan...ingat tak bunga ni....kita ambil masa ikut gi assignment kat Jasin.......hope you like the birthday present k....next time kita gi minum tau...i miss spending my weekends with you gi assignments........ Bunga dari Nana.....we had another santai session on 11-1-2009 and she gave me the flowers....sukanya hati ini.......kita sayang Nana juga k........thanks again k

Bunga-bunga ku di atas meja ruang tamu rumah ku.....the lily smells devine....

Basket of flowers from Saleem........chocolate nye dah di serbu oleh mereka mereka di ofis.....

Flowers from Dilla......so sweet kan....made me smile all through the day...even now bila i tengok the flowers at home i can't help but smile......

Woke up feeling really old.....if pasang candle atas cake mesti penuh satu kek and if nak kira dah kena pinjam jari tangan orang....Me pakai baju baru warna biru hadiah dari Dilla (gambar nye ada dalam blog kaseh)..its a habit of mine to pakai baju baru bila time hari jadi.....ia membuat i rasa best......

Birthday wishes comes from mak and abah, Ijan, Dilla, Sugus, Nana (Thanks for the roses) , Linda (thanks for the baju kurung kain kapas), Arief, Abg Man, Pumpkin ( anti wish that u are here to celebrate with me...thanks for the blog entry and the lovely picture we took long long time ago) .Abossa...Akak and the gang sang the birthday song in the morning......i was smiling ear to ear.......jangan lah ditanya umur ku k.....dah lanjut and almost expiring.........

The biggest surprise of the day was flowers from Dilla...lilies and roses and chocolates......made me really happy......thanks Dilla.....love it.....bunga dari orang jauh.......

Had lunch with Abossa and Puan Aniza of Aniza & Associates di Jakes....semuanye gara gara me told Abossa that me terasa nak makan salmon and "escargo"(my sister calls this siput taman)........yummie....

Received another basket of flowers from Saleem...pun ada chocolate.......habislah diet ku...

To all that remembered my Birthday and was not included in this entry please jangan marah k...

All in all the day was a delight...i am older but age is just a number.....i am young at heart and everyday getting wiser...ALLAH has been kind to me and my life has been blessed.....tahun ini adalah tahun perubahan for me...perubahan untuk menjadi yang lebih baik.a better daughter to my parents, adik yang lebih baik to my sibblings....a better friend to my friends, a more hardworking employee to my employer and most of all to be a better muslimah...so i can face my maker with no shame here and in my after life...Amin..

Santai dengan Nana

Nana looking at her brownies with ice cream with vengence......nampak tak her drinks.....delicious...

I so love this picture....like she is flirting with the brownies...........

Picture of me taken by Ijan dekat Jeti Umbai...(i rasa lah that is what it is called...halal je lah.....

I was supposed to post about this like weeks ago...tapi apa kan daya banyak sangat yang terjadi di ofis ni yang membuatkan mood untuk berblogging tu agak mendatar lah sikit. That particular Sunday ( dah lupa tarikhnye....) i followed Ijan bila she went for her assignment in Jasin (my usual weekends activity for the past few years. Had lunch in KFC di bandar Jasin and than made plans to see Nana to catch up.. but before that I promised Ijan to pick her sister, Azira from Tanjung Minyak to Tesco for her assignment.

As such, meeting point with Nana was to be there...Secret Recepie Tesco..had all the makanan yang amat menggemukkan tetapi sememangnye lazat and had a long chat....when Adik (nama manja for Azira) dah settle dengan her assignments both Nana and Me sent her to her ofis in Melaka Hari Ini...we were chatting non stop from Tesco to MHI, back to Tesco again.....we then sat in the car and chat some more till about 6.30....banyak sesangat benda nak di bincangkan and nak dikongsi....macam never ending story....basically I had an enjoyable time setiap kali keluar dengan Nana...terubat rindu pada Pumpkin........

I then picked Ijan up from her office and we went to Umbai untuk makan Ijan's favourite - ikan terubuk bakar......I yang dulu tak suka pun jadi suka juga ikan ini....me had my ikan cencaru pais....went back to KL the next day all geared up for work.....I pray that the situation at the ofis will be better and that people would be more civil with each other. Ofis dah rasa macam war zone and everybody seems to be ready to pounce on each other....semua menjaga kepentingan sendiri sehingga sanggup menikam kawan kawan dari belakang..I do feel that this should not be the way as bila kita work as a team the company benefits the most..bila berpecah sebegini the company will be destroyed.....Hope these people will realise this and learn to work together......Amin.

Sunway Lagoon oh Sunway Lagoon

Semua berposing sakan before bersiap ke Sunway Lagoon......

My sister and the whole gang...

Danial, Dzinih (both anak Abg Is), mak & abah

Mak and Abah.....abah suka buat muka serius walaupun dah pesan suruh senyum....tapi yang peliknye bila dah habis ambil gambar dia terus senyum je....

Just the 4 of us...... My siblings and I....berbaju biru ialah my elder brother (Pumpkin's Dad), Abg Is, Kak OG and me...dah lama we tak ambil gambar bersama-sama......gambar diambil berulang kali untuk memastikan kami semua nampak cantik and comel n handsome....

Baby Dini & Me under the christmas tree.. yang kurang ialah there was no presents.....me want presents....santa clause sesat kot atau pun tersepit kat dalam chimney...he he he

Selipar mereka mereka yang turut serta ......me jadi tukang jaga beg, baju and selipar aje......gladly do that daripada basah lokos.....

Me in my favourite shirt......and my Cecile Ahern book......Princess, anak Kak Tati drew me in this shirt masa we (Nana, Linda & family) visited her lovely English home on 10-1-2009.

The troupe on the suspension bridge...me afraid of heights so just duduk berehat sahaja di bawah.........belakang tu ialah hostel untuk Sunway College students...condominium gitu..sigh...when i was there cuma ada the old apartment....datang Sunway Lagoon ni membuat ku mengimbau kenangan lalu sewaktu di Sunway College...those were the days....

26-12-2008 was spent in Sunway Lagoon to enable the kids to have fun at the theme park and the water park. We checked in the Sunway Towers Resort and lepas bersiap siap we are all set to go....Sunway Lagoon here we come....the kids have been looking forward to this outing especially Afrina...siang malam dia tanya soalan yang sama..."we are going to Sunway Lagoon on Thursday right?"...ulang ulang n ulang n ulang.........sigh...

I decided to just berehat sambil membaca buku cerita..no screaming my lungs out on the rides and no getting wet in the water park....the story book of my choice for the trip was "Thanks for the Memories" by Cecile Ahern...penat .....biarlah the kids have fun...aunti ni nak some peace and quiet.....finished the book. Was really a good book and looking forward to reading more of her books...

Food was very costly here in the park. A plate of fried rice cost about RM11 (rasanyae punyelah tak sedap tetapi because lapar belasah jelah....) and a bottle of mineral water is almost about RM4...cuba bayangkan....macam mana lah tuan punya Sunway Group ni tak kaya raya raya raya raya.........

Thank God the park closes about 6 ptg, if not rasanye bebudak kecik ni semua mesti nak tidur kat sana........overall walaupun penat semuanye tersenyum bila balik....an adventure for the kids....

Semua tidur awal and the next day balik Bangi.....

P/S my mom and dad pun bermain air bersama anak-anak (minus me lah) and cucu cucu......

Baby's Birthday..

Tiga dara pingitan- Baby, Nana and Kakak....

Everybody and the bowling shoes.........

Afrina a.k.a Kutchi Rat and Dini....she is now in Standard 2 and Dini in Kindergarten......our little ladies

Selepas penat berbowling laparlah pula...so we had "tea" at the food court......waffles...yummie..

Birthday Girl Baby and Dini berposing dekat poster "Bedtime Story".

We celebrated Baby's birthday in Alamanda, Putrajaya. Our first stop was to the cinema but the show that we wanted to watch, Bolt was not listed for that particular afternoon. Cerita lain macam tak sesuai so we (not inclusive of Afrina, as she was very adamant about watching just about any movie) decided to go bowling instead....semuanya pegang bola bowling pun tak reti so what more nak score.....nak lane yang takde longkang tak boleh lah pula bcoz dah diambil orang....nak jadi cerita dapat lane tengah tengah and yang belah kiri and kanan macam ala ala teror gitu......tawakkal je lah kami kami ini.......overall we had fun,,,score nye takdelah memberansangkan tetapi we had a good laugh and a wonderous time.....family bonding time to celebrate Baby's Birthday.......the pictures showed the fun we had. Afrina yang memula moncong pun akhirnya tak nak balik because she enjoyed it so so much.......Happy Birthday Baby and congratulations on the PMR result....

P/S: the waffles were so sedap......

If i were a boy

I am supposed to continue with Part 2 of the previous entry tapi this is kinda critical and needed to be put in writing.....the reason is to express my confusion in respect of the male species....i just don't understand them......the following are the list:-

1. what's this thing about men & flowers????- first and foremost i have to admit that there are some men out there (but dah tak banyak lagi dah kot...they are facing kepupusan) yang memang beri bunga to their other half tetapi majoritinya (99%) yang memang clueless about what women feels about flowers....bunga tepi jalan pun bole buat mereka mereka ini terapung di clowd 9....lebih lebih lagi if dari orang yang mereka sayang......sigh...........ntahlah.....some think that giving flowers is such a waste.....how could it be a waste?...when your other half is happy than you will be greatly rewarded........consider that.....i was told that with men you cannot just hint....you must blatantly state what you want...then they would act upon it........but then my question would be "where is the element of surprise?"......however, with this approach youo have to be cautious........please...i mean please be sure that they remember the exact dates that they are suppose to buy u the flowers......there are occasion when they act upon a request but on a wrong date....kan ke haru biru jadinye......
2. i just don't understand of whats cooking in that little mind of theirs....or more likely their little waffle boxes...i hate asking "u fikir apa? and getting the same old answer "nothing"....how can there be nothing when you look as though u are a million mile away.........gazing into nothingness.........physically they are ther but in actual fact is their mind is God knows where.......
3. men and their inability to express themselves.........ask them wether they luv u or not and their answer would be....."mesti jawab ke?" or "its not the words but the action....." or "can't you see how i feel"........deep in my heart i wanted to say "yes u must answer" or "i don't want to see the act but i NEED to hear the words so JAWAB je lah....susah ke?" or "if i can see them would i need to ask?"........women like to hear the words of endearments from their luv ones........once a while lah...takdelah tiap tiap hari.....tak juga bertahun tahun sekali....

The above listing is not exhaustive and should i attempt to include all alamat tak habislah keroje den kek apis ni.....mengamuklah Abossa........[if ada tambahan please lah add k ladies......the above are my main confusion....]..

There is actually 2 books that should be read by all , be it Martians and those from Venus. One was introduced by my dearest Dilla -Men are like Waffles and Women are like Spaghetti....-its the title of my blog and the 2nd one is "the 5 love languages"...the 2 books could help us understand the other sexes...but let me tell u this...i read both of the books cover to cover and i still don't understand them....maybe they don't understand us too.....mesti ada give and take lah walau apapun....

The lyric below is my current favourite song by Beyonce entitled " If i were a boy"...the lyrics is beautiful.....

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I'd roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it.
Cause they'd stick up for me.
[Chorus:]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man.
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleepin' alone
I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waitin' for me to come home (to come home)
[Chorus]
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
[Chorus]
But you're just a boy
You don't understand
Yeah you don't understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you're just a boy

2008-Part I

...if you guys have noticed i have not been updating my blog lately...just don’t know what to say....many things are cooking in this little mind of mine and i just don’t know how to express them....everything is so mixed up that i just don’t know.....all the things that has happened..good, bad and some that i would rather forget....the people that ALLAH has sent to me to add colour to my dull life...to make me smile...and the not so nice people that i just wish would dissapear.......the pleasure and pressure of work....the loss of luv ones and the blooming of something beautiful.......of how friendships were tested.....of family ties that binds....i am not good with words but all i can say is 2008 has been a memorable year......

I have been truly blessed... i have a wonderful family and a close knitted friends that luvs me.....what more could i ask for....ALLAH has been kind......

Its now 2.15 in the morning and i can’t sleep....i have the urge to thank all the wonderful people that has enriched my life....whom i share many ups and down with in 2008 and looking forward to creating more beautifull memories with in 2009 and all through my life here on Earth...
My dearest sister...."the most powerful women in the judiciary"....he he he...i am so proud of her....her achievements in both her family life and her career..a loving wife to her husband and children and a dedicated employee..she memang garang but i know that she has my interest at heart....luv u sis.

My Pumpkin a,k.a the cupcake maker.....my niece and confidante......my little lionese....very protective of this old auntie of hers.....my gossip partner and my laughing buddy.....my crying shoulder.....she is so petite but has a strenght, determination and courage of Hercules......oh how i miss her.....do come back soon Pumpkin...life is not the same.....

My Ijan who is my pillar of strenght....we have gone through so much together and i just can’t imagine my life without her in it.....we are like siamese twins.....her support and friendship i truly can’t live without...come what may i pray that this friendship of ours will stand the test of time...P/S: Happy Birthday to you my miss casino royale....

My wonderful boss a.k.a the cupcake eater.....that made the office more bearable...he has his flaws but what would i do without him.........he is not only my Abossa but more than that.......he is a truly wonderful boss and a loyal friend.....i know that i can count on him alwiz....

Sugus..u are more than a friend.....u are family...i know that u r reading this with my "anak anak angkat"...please leave comment k......bukan sms je......jangan marah aku Reen....he he he..nanti kena jual.......

My dearest friend Dilla...what can i say...... i was introduced to her, our lawyer from Melaka during my maiden days in MBSB.....never thought that it could developed to this....a beautiful friendship....i quote from one of Dilla’s entry in her blog.....she is first and foremost a friend than our lawyer....thanks Dilla...i truly appreciate all that you have done for me...her relationship with her powerpuff girls are just awesome and i do admire that......P/S: Happy Birthday Buttercup...semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki and berbahagia selalu....

Through Dilla i have the pleasure of knowing other wonderful people that coloured my life......Linda and Nana...

Linda....tuan punya butik kaseh....have jari jemari ajaib yang membuatkan baju yang dull menjadi cantik dengan manik-manik yang tersusun indah...a strong woman who is very passionate with her work and cherish her friends and family.......thanks Linda...P/S: maybe its too early but Happy 1st Aniversary to Butik Kaseh....

Nana....semestinya ramai yang curious to know macam mana we can klik so well.....i don’t know how to explain it either......its just that we do.....we have so many things in common and alike in so many weird way that sometimes its a bit scary......the younger and more vibrant version of me lah kot......nanti kita picnic tepi sawah sambil makan Molton Choc Cake k Nana.........??...bole? looking forward to Friday......

Mata dah mengantuk teramat sangat....tapi there is a lot more that i need to say.....the effect of 2008 on my life.....the changes that it had brought....i found the courage to let go of something that has been a part of my life for so long.....whom i thought i could never do but i did..i have written this latin phrase in my comment for Linda and i am gonna put that phrase here....."perfer et obdura dolor hic tibi proderit olim"...it simply means "be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you"...how true.....need my beauty sleep...will continue nanti....